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What Difficulties Disabled People Face in Finding Love?


In recent years Shanghai has issued many policies to assist disabled people in improving their health and creating greater opportunities for them in finding jobs. But the problem of love and marriage remains a big problem for disabled people. They do not have much contact with the outside world and they are not good at communication.
"It would be great if someone could help them find each other," said Ms. Hong, who runs a matchmaking service for white-collar office workers.
Problem 1: No way to find a partner
"There are two office ladies with minor disabilities who have asked me to find boyfriends for them. The healthy boys ran away when they heard about these girl's disabilities."  When Ms. Hong searched for "mildly disabled" boys for these two girls, he found that it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. "There are many websites for marriage seekers, but none of them are for disabled people," said Mrs. Zhao, the mother of one of the girls.
Zhao Jie is 28 years old. She wears a brilliant smile in her photograph. Mrs. Zhao told the reporter that her daughter had infantile paralysis, which mildly affected her right leg. "The lameness didn't affect her study and growth. But it has hurt her deeply in her ability to get married," Mrs. Zhao said worriedly.
"Shanghai has a set of complete protection policies for disabled people. After graduating from university, my daughter went to a state owned enterprise to be an accountant." Her daughter got along well with her colleagues, but now men have expressed any romantic interest in her. Her mother has introduced her to many men, but some of them refused to see her while some of them refused to see her again after seeing her once. Mrs. Zhao has encouraged her daughter to attend a club to meet friends, but Zhao Jie was alone while other people quickly paired up. She has not attended any club meetings since then.
Mrs. Zhao has encouraged her daughter to search for a disabled man as a boyfriend if she cannot find a healthy one. But it is also very hard to find someone like her. Her mother has asked the residents' committee for help, but was disappointed to find that the disabled people there were mostly severely disabled.
Problem 2: Afraid to Marry
There are many service centres in Shanghai to help disabled people find jobs. "They can make a living by themselves," said the vice president of the Jiangsu Street Service Centre in Changning district, Ye Qichao. "But I still want to help them. I hope more companies will offer positions for disabled people. I also hope the policy of lower housing rents will be available to more disabled people so that they can have a place to live at the very least."
Marriage is a sweet and sour word to many disabled people. "They are afraid to get married, even when others introduce them to a potential partner," Ye Qichao said. "It's an economic problem. They don't think they can afford a family with such a low income. Say nothing of having a child after getting married."
Problem 3: Potential crisis
Shanghai has a policy to help the spouses of disabled people. It stipulates that the spouse of a disabled person can apply for permanent residence in Shanghai if they have been married for more than 5 years. This policy addresses the increasing number of marriages between disabled people and people from other provinces. It will help disabled people lead a better life by allowing their spouses to settle in Shanghai.
This policy has made many disabled people very happy and it has been really helpful. But the policy has been abused by people with ulterior motives. Mr. Wang, who is disabled, has refused to marry a woman from another province. "She is more interested in the registered permanent residence than me," Mr. Wang said. He knew of one woman that married a man who was disabled, who the disappeared as soon as she received her permanent residence. "I'd rather be single than be married because of this," he said
Focus: Helping disabled people find a spouse needs to be carefully studied
An official from the Shanghai Disabled Persons Federation told the reporter that they had held some events for disabled people to meet other people, but not attendance was low. Because it was not very successful they were trying to find better ways.
Ms. Hong thinks that disabled people cannot attend these kinds of events because many of them are not good at communicating with others in public. She has much experience and is willing to use these experiences to help them
Focus: There are very few marriage websites for disabled people
The reporter typed the words "disabled people", "marriage", and "making friends" into a search engine. Most of the results were news reports and a few were marriage matchmaking servies for disabled people.
The reporter saw the website ¨C http://www.cjrlove.com and clicked on the link. There were nearly 10 posts on marriage seeking. This website is completely free and the website managers are volunteers, most of whom are disabled.
The reporter contacted the founder of the website, Kang Chao. He lives in Anhui City, Hefei Province and learned that hed been a volunteer for 10 years. "I got in touch with many disabled people as a volunteer. I found they found it very hard to find a spouse, and they were very distressed about it."
He used his own money to create this website to help them. "The website is very popular. After only a year and a half, we had more than 10,000 members. And we have many successful stories."
Kang Chao knows that some people are unable to read his website due to their deformity, such as people who are blind. "I'm thinking about using software that can read the words out loud for disabled people. If there are enough volunteers in the future, we may expand our services from the internet to real life."

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